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watching: Desperate Housewives Season 8 Episode 5

Have I mentioned just how insanely addictive Desperate Housewives is? I used to think that the show was meant for the desperate like the show's name suggested, but it's insanely honest. Or dishonest as looking how things goes on in the show. 

I've been feeling depressed lately, or rather overwhelmed. Why wouldn't I be? I put in around 20 hours a week at my part time job, I have school on weekdays and I have to study for my driving test. And now, I have choir to add to that list. I feel stressed. I think for my up coming holidays I'm going to revamp my life, go on a holiday with a friend, tidy my room, go clubbing and make some new art for my portfolio. 

I'm feeling so dead and uninspired lately that it's suffocating me. Literally. I miss having meaningful chats with friends that actually understand my predicament (which only those who I let know, will know). The same "problem" I've had since I was 3 is acting up. Again.

I'm sick of it. It is what thats suppressing me, suffocating me. Sometimes, I just wish I could wish myself to death or away when I have to face this problem. But I cant. Neither can I fully confide in someone, for fear of the social stigma that will come along with it. Sometimes, well actually most of the time I wish I had been born into another life, I wonder what would it be like to live someone else's life , just for a minute. A while. 

Actually, this problem is what accounts for my lack of faith in "God". If "He" really loved every human being as equals, then why would one person have to suffer more than the other? Why would they even have to pay for their sins then if his "love" is so truly uncalculating? 

I believe God is a figment of our imagination, something that us plebeians have cooked up over the years. I mean, just look at Greek mythology. There was a hierarchy to the order of gods in Greek Mythology stories. 

Hierarchy is created by humans to rationalise our inane instinct to follow or to lead. 

Oh well. Enough of me and my hate/hate relationship with the man. 

The only way I can deal with this problem is to do the same thing I have always done.

Pretend that the problem doesn't exist. 


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